"There was a woman loved a swine:
Grump! Said he.
Piggy, says she, will you be mine?
Grump! Said he."
The last muster field at Dedham, in Norfolk County, will be long
remembered, as remarkable for having produced two rare monsters of the
swinish race;—the one a quadruped hog, ring-streaked and striped, like
the kin of old Laban,—and the other a biped brute, a rum-seller,
in his trade under the appropriate banner and in the appropriate company
of the striped pig aforesaid.
On that memorable day there appeared, high raised aloft among the
tents and booths, which checkered the military parade ground, the banner
of the rum-seller, bearing thereon as a proper heraldic device, not a
hogshead merely, but a whole hog.— a hog, not in its simple and
state, but a hog disguised with paint, (or liquor). This curious and
aptly chosen emblem was accompanied by a false advertisement, that in the
tent below might be found a great natural curiosity, by any person
disposed to invest his fourpence-half penny in sight seeing. This lying
program, not less than the device which it accompanied, was a fair
manifestation of that spirit which is a mocker and a deceiver.
Within the tent below stood the worthy couple already described,
the striped pig and his associate,—surrounded by all those elements
implements of intoxication which have brought so much woe and death into
the world, prepared for the use and enjoyment of customers.
At first but a few individuals were tempted to enter this den of
iniquity. A shrewd Yankee pauses long before he will pay his money to see
a pig, or any other beast, whose exact picture is before his very eyes
without a fee. But one or two did straggle in, and multitudes gathered
about the tent and stared at the sign, and discussed its merits and
wondered at its meaning.
It was not long before the earliest visitors came out of the tent,
looking considerably less silly, than when they went in, and winking their
eyes most knowingly, and smacking their lips.
Since the above paragraph was in type, we have learned that a post
mortem examination of the pig was made by divers learned doctors last
night, from which examination we have gathered the following items.
1. On searching the cerebral cavity it was found that the pig had
no brains, excepting a small portion near the phrenological regions of
almentiveness, destructiveness, amativeness, and acquisitiveness, by which
these propensities must have developed themselves. Instead of the
medullary substance, the brainpan was filled with a dark semi-fluid, which
resembled blackstrap, entitled an alcoholic odor, and burnt readily, with
a blue flame, when brought in contact with the lamp.
2d. The heart of the pig, which was reduced to less than one half the
size, was entirely ossified, and, what was exceedingly curious, it had
assumed the exact appearance of a common junk bottle.
3d. There was a high degree of inflammation discovered in the
abdominal viscera,—the occasion of which was in part the ardent spirit
with which they were suffused, and in part a strange mass of undigested
and indigestible substances, the precise nature of which could not, for
some time, be determined; but which at last proved to be composed of
paper, on which were printed hand-bills, circular letters, resolutions,
appeals, and other documents published by the pig-party. This papyraceous
mass had accumulated in the stomach of the pig, irritated the mucous
membrane, and gangrene had supervened. The stench was so overpowering
that the examiners could not pursue this part of their search so
thoroughly as was desired.
Not to go further in our paper of this morning, we will only add
that we expect a full account of the discoveries of the surgeons in a few
P.S. Our devil has just come into the office in a great panic,
with the assertion that the pig is not yet dead, —that he revived
the lancet, sprang upon his feet, bit several of the operators, one of
whom has just gone off with hydrophobia, and then escaped from the
dissecting-room into the streets! We know not what to think. A friend at
our elbow suggests that if the devil has told us the truth, this pig must
be the beast referred to in the Apocalypse, (chap. Xiii, 3,) of whom it
was said, one of his heads was wounded to death, and his deadly wound was
healed, and all the world wondered after the beast! We shall give our
readers the earliest authentic news on this subject which can be procured.